Life is a Marshmallow Test: A Decade of Patience, Purpose, and the Sweetness of the Wait

The Seed of an Idea

In 2014, I wrote about life as a "Marshmallow Test." The idea wasn’t new—it came from Martin Berkhan of Leangains, inspired by the famous psychological experiment: children were offered one marshmallow immediately or two if they could sit patiently and wait. A simple test, yet profound.

At the time, the concept resonated with me as a fun, almost rebellious metaphor for how life worked. I had this gnawing belief that there was more to be found if I could resist the urge to take shortcuts.

Back then, I wrote about it with a mix of irreverence and excitement, saying, “Here’s to marshmallows, losing weight, financial freedom, hell even threesomes!” It was playful because life still felt like a test I could “win” with grit and cleverness. But as the years unfolded, I realized this test isn’t about winning—it’s about learning to wait well.

How the Marshmallow Test Became a Life Philosophy

Ten years later, the Marshmallow Test isn’t just a metaphor; it’s the core of how I approach my health, finances, relationships, and purpose. The marshmallows are no longer just pleasures—they’ve become opportunities for deeper success.

Health: Patience Builds Strength

My journey with weightlifting began in the 6th grade at the YMCA, sparked not by a desire for quick gains but by a young boy's dream to excel in football—a sport I played from the 5th grade through my senior year of high school. I wasn't chasing muscles or aiming for instant transformation; I was simply following the advice that to be better at football, I needed to lift weights. Alabama, Auburn, the University of Illinois, even Division II and III schools like Western Kentucky, and yes, Harvard Business School due to my ACT score, all took notice. But it was in those early days, with the scent of rubber mats and the clank of weights, that my understanding of strength began.

As the years passed, what started as a means to an end transformed into a lifestyle. Weightlifting became more than just getting better at football; it was about embracing fitness as a holistic journey, a commitment to a healthier self.

Weightlifting teaches you the slowness of growth:

The first weeks were excruciating—my body resisted, my mind searched for excuses to avoid the barbell. But then came the small victories: lifting a heavier weight, recovering quicker, a body that persevered when I thought it couldn't.

That marshmallow moment, the one where patience truly pays off, came years later when I looked in the mirror and saw not just a stronger physique but a more resilient spirit. Health isn't about instant fixes or crash diets. It's about showing up, day after day, trusting that every session, every rep compounds into something remarkable. This journey taught me that true growth—both in muscle and in character—demands patience, dedication, and an unwavering belief in the process.

The Marshmallow Test Plays Out Loudest in Finance

The Marshmallow Test finds its truest home in finance. It’s not just about investing in stocks or bonds—it’s about building wealth as a mindset. That mindset demands patience, discipline, and a commitment to sustainable choices when every temptation pushes for quick gratification.

In my work with Caelian Capital Strategies and my own personal portfolio, I’ve faced those choices head-on. I’ve seen how easy it is to take short-term wins—buying a bigger house, splurging on shiny business assets that depreciate, or chasing the hottest “get-rich-quick” trends. But I’ve chosen to wait.

Instead of letting immediate gratification dictate my financial life, I invested in a dividend-paying portfolio and reinvested those returns. That wasn’t always an easy choice. It meant saying no to luxuries when others were upgrading, it meant delaying the dream of “arriving” so I could build something better: financial sustainability.

The reward? I’ve reached a level of freedom where I am beholden to no one. My life isn’t dictated by the 9-to-5 grind. I have the space to pursue personal goals, creative passions, and projects like Invictus Electric Service Co, knowing I’m not chained to trading my time for money.

But this freedom wasn’t handed to me—it was earned through perspective and struggle.

The Early Days: Learning the Ropes

I wasn’t born into wealth. There were no shortcuts, no trust funds, no pre-paved paths to financial independence. My early days were spent working jobs where the value of a dollar—and the grind it took to earn it—became crystal clear.

Waiting tables taught me humility and the value of serving others with a smile, even on hard days.

Call center shifts showed me the grind of repetitive, thankless work and the emotional toll of staying polite to people who weren’t always polite back.

Minimum wage roles instilled a fire in me—a determination to learn, grow, and build a life where I didn’t just “work to survive.”

Those jobs weren’t glamorous, but they gave me a perspective that many leaders lack. I know firsthand what it’s like to work under bad bosses—people who cut corners, belittled employees, or treated others as expendable. I’ve also had glimpses of great leadership: those rare individuals who led with integrity, lifted others up, and saw value in every role, no matter how small.

That experience shaped me as a leader. It’s a cautionary tale, too—because I’ve seen what happens when someone skips the hard parts. There’s a reason leadership books are littered with stories of:

The trust-fund baby who never had to work for a dollar, so they squandered their inheritance.

The child who inherits the family business but lacks the grit, wisdom, or perspective to honor what it took to build it.

True leadership, and true financial freedom, is forged in the crucible of real experience. It’s understanding the cost of your choices, the discipline of patience, and the humility to know where you came from.

Patience Made Tangible

That’s why I chose the long game. I built my portfolio and businesses with the same patience and care as someone planting an orchard—not for one harvest, but for generations of growth. Every dollar reinvested, every system improved, and every decision to forgo a shiny distraction has compounded into something meaningful:

Freedom to Lead on My Terms: Invictus Electric Service Co isn’t about quick profits; it’s about building a business with integrity, innovation, and a long-term vision.

Freedom to Create: Whether through writing, building a community, or exploring new ideas, I have time to pursue passions that bring me fulfillment—not just a paycheck.

Freedom from Fear: I’m not worried about keeping up with someone else’s lifestyle or “arriving” at a hollow version of success. My journey is my own, and it’s built on a foundation of patience.

A Personal Turning Point: Choosing Purpose Over Hurry

One of the moments that redefined patience for me happened unexpectedly.

I was sitting in reflection, thinking about my roots—about being adopted. My birth mother made a decision that changed the trajectory of my life forever. She chose life for me. That choice was, in essence, a form of delayed gratification. She didn’t know what the outcome would look like, yet she chose to wait—to trust. Trust that instead of abortion, the easy choice, that I would bring happiness to a family that couldn’t conceive naturally.

That realization hit me like a truck. My entire life exists because someone chose patience over certainty. From that point on, I felt a deeper responsibility to honor the wait—in everything I do. Life isn’t just about maximizing success; it’s about stewarding opportunities with purpose and gratitude. This gratitude finds me from time to time in the simple moments of life. When people say “Stop and smell the roses” for me, that means “enjoy the now, because the now may never have existed.”

The Cost of Impatience: Learning the Hard Way

Of course, I haven’t always passed the test. There have been moments where impatience got the better of me:

Rushing to hire someone who wasn’t a fit.

Overextending in business when I should’ve scaled slower.

Chasing quick wins in investments, only to see them fall apart.

Each of those moments was its own lesson, I have a story for each whether it’s losing $18k in a day to a bad investment or losing a major contract from a quick hire. Not doing my due diligence ended up costing me more than just money. Impatience often feels like “action,” but most of the time, it’s just noise—a distraction from what matters most. Waiting isn’t doing nothing; waiting is preparing for the right move. Patience is just finding something to do in the meantime. Take it from Sun Tzu on both Energy and Maneuvering:

Chapter 5: Energy:

"Amid the chaos, there is also opportunity. Those who are skilled in producing surprise will win; such tactics cannot be sustained without rest and preparation."

This emphasizes the idea that rest and preparation are essential components of effective strategy.

Chapter 7: Maneuvering, where he discusses conserving energy:

"Do not press an enemy at bay. A skilled commander does not commit all his energy at once; he allows his forces to rest and reserves strength for decisive moments."

These verses underscore that waiting isn’t passive—it’s a deliberate, strategic choice to prepare for the right moment to act.

The Marshmallow Test in a Changing World

Since 2014, the world has sped up. We have TikTok for instant entertainment, Instagram for immediate validation, and a 24/7 economy that glorifies hustle. Instant gratification isn’t just available—it’s expected.

Yet, I believe this makes patience more powerful. In a world of instant noise, those who can wait stand out. The Marshmallow Test, now more than ever, is a superpower.

Living Like I Won the Lottery—But Earning It Daily

In 2014, I said, “Live every day like you WON the lottery.” I still believe that, but the meaning has shifted. Back then, it felt like an attitude—being bold, optimistic, and grateful. Now, it’s a practice.

Living like I won the lottery means:

Appreciating the people I love—my family, my friends, my team.

Finding joy in work that matters, even on tough days.

Recognizing that every marshmallow—every reward—is earned through presence, purpose, and persistence.

Advice for 2024: How to Master Your Marshmallows

To anyone reading this, here’s what I’ve learned about delayed gratification over the last decade:

Make Patience a Practice: Build systems that keep you moving toward your goals. Success doesn’t happen all at once—it happens daily.

Celebrate Small Wins: Don’t wait until the end to feel joy. Each step forward matters.

Know What You’re Waiting For: Not every marshmallow is worth it. Choose rewards that align with your values.

Be Ready to Act: Patience isn’t passive. Prepare yourself so when the right opportunity comes, you can seize it fully.

A Final Thought

Financial independence isn’t about lottery tickets or shortcuts—it’s about playing the long game when no one else is watching. It’s about making sacrifices today so your future self can live with dignity, purpose, and freedom.

I often think back to those marshmallows and realize: the sweetness of delayed gratification isn’t just in the rewards themselves. It’s in the process—learning the discipline, gaining perspective, and building something that no one can take from you.

That, to me, is wealth.

Life is still a Marshmallow Test—but it’s not just about waiting for more. It’s about understanding what makes the wait worthwhile. It’s about purpose, gratitude, and showing up every day to earn those sweet moments.

Here’s to the next decade: building patiently, loving deeply, and living like every day is the jackpot.